Rapid results.

"What are you doing tonight?" My friend Liana asked as we left work, yesterday.

"Oh - nothing, really. Going to the gym. Writing. Washing the dishes, probably...Not."

"You should go out and do something. Your hair looks great."

"Uh! Thank you." I tittered in delight. "I am stopping at the clinic for a free STD screening on my way home. That's not too bad of a place to meet men."

In fact, now thanks to rapid testing, it's actually pretty smart. No need for prospective partners to worry whether not you're actually negative when there's an office full of healthcare professionals who can vouch for you. Alas, while I'm still clean, there was no one else there with whom I would want to get dirty.

The nurse did say I have, "great veins," though. "But I bet you get that every time anyone draws blood."

"True," I affirmed, "But I'll always take a compliment!"

And while a phone number would have been nice, after two instances of unsolicited flattery in just as many hours - I was content to go home, read a magazine, and think about cleaning my kitchen.